; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
