Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
