Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
