Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
