if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
