My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
