who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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