I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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