If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
