Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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