How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
