My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
