If i come over, it means nothing
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
