Grow some girl-balls and come out already
only if we run a train.
done.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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