I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
