totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
