I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize