i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
