Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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