sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm getting married
To pizza
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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