i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
