i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
