I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
