so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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