I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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