then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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