Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
