So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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