Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
