Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
