Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
