Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
