...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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