Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
