i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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