I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
