i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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