nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
