i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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