I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
