flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
