Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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