I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
