my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
