Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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