I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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