I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
