Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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