listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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