Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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