If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize