and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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