Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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