In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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