they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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