Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
