If that was your dad, he is hot
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize