You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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