I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
