Yo dont text me then not text me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So vagazzling was a success
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
