Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
