If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
